ABC 20/20~Investigation Discovery, NH COLD CASE UNIT, SERIES~BRINGING ATTENTION TO UNSOLVED MURDERS, UNSOLVED MURDERS AND THE MISSING

Moving On Doesn’t Mean We Forget

Kathy

Every year without fail, November 21st comes around, and with it, the memories of my sister Kathy’s’ murder. Kathy was savagely beaten, raped, strangled, and run over by a car. Her naked, lifeless body was discarded in the woods three miles from our home. I always thought an arrest would be made.

The loss is still heartbreaking and I miss her. I struggle to remember aspects of her personality. I can’t recall her voice, her laugh, her gestures, or her joking ways.

This summer I did a book signing at Gibson’s Bookstore in New Hampshire. A woman approached me after everyone else was gone. She told me, “I’m afraid I’ll forget him.” Her soul mate, her love had recently past away, and her greatest fear was she’d forget him. I empathized with her; the fear is real.

She had mementos from trips they’d taken and from the special life they had together. I suggested she start a journal. “Take the things you’ve collected and write about them. Use words to help remind you of the funny things he used to say, and about the trips you took together. Place the mementos with your stories. When you feel you’ve forgotten him, you’ll have your journal to help remind you of the love you shared.”

People told her to move on. “Moving on doesn’t mean we forget, or that we won’t grieve our loss years later. We learn to function after our loss, and we still reminisce. Sometimes reminiscing will make us laugh and other times cry, but either way, it’s okay.”

With tears in her eyes, she said, “I’m going to buy a journal.” We hugged, and I watched her walked away. That was an emotional conversation for me, but like so many other times, Kathy was in it. I know the fear of forgetting a laugh, a smile, or a joke. Its happened to me, and it hurts.

My goals today are different from years in the past. I don’t want Kathy to be forgotten. I hope what happened to her would cause others to make a difference in this world. One person can’t conquer the world, but one step forward can leave a positive mark.

The books, the speaking engagements, and the conversations I have with other families suffering from loss are the ways I show my love for her.

Love you, Kathy. Kisses and hugs forever…

 

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GOOD NEWS ABOUT THE NH COLD CASE UNIT

I am extremely happy to report the New Hampshire Cold Case Unit will continue to serve the state in solving cold cases.  The unit was in jeopardy of being dissolved at the end of June 2013.  Working with information from previous and current dedicated investigators the unit will continue to work on cold cases and make arrest.  The New Hampshire Cold Case Unit has given hope to families waiting for answers, many for decades.  On my next speaking engagement it will be my pleasure to announce to detectives in Ohio that the unit remains active.  I will report on their progress.  It is an encouragement to all law enforcement that work on homicides.   

Please visit their website and see the arrest they’ve made.

http://doj.nh.gov/criminal/cold-case/